Stop giving me a hard time about being single

If you're single, chances are you've been asked the following three
questions:

1. Why aren't you married?

2. Why aren't you married?
and the very, very popular:

3. Why aren't you married?
...give or take another 999,999,997 more such questions.

Unfortunately, I can't fix you up with any cute guys or girls to help
you avoid these questions in the future. However, I can fix you up
with some good snappy comebacks to fling at anyone who dares to
question your single status.

So, next time somebody dares to ask you that "Why aren't you
married?" question, pause, smile sagaciously (I love that word; it
means "wisely"), and offer up one of the following. Or, just review
them for your own personal satisfaction.

1. In the beginning, there were no elliptical trainers or
low-fat/high-fiber muffins, and so people lived to only about
40-something. Maximum. Meaning, the pressure was on to get married
before age 25. However, today, thanks to medical advances, we can all
hope to live to 80.
Easy. Meaning? Even if we marry at age 40, that's still 35, 45, even
55 years to be with a mate. Plenty of time to be married. What's the
hurry?

2. Married people are not necessarily better catches simply because
they were caught. I mean, have you taken a look at some of the married
people out there? Seriously. Even Frankenstein got married.
Obviously married people are not superior people.

3. Meanwhile, look at some of our cool single role models:
Catwoman: Single.
Buddha: Single.
The Lone Ranger: Single.
Actually, virtually all superhero types are single: Superman, Wonder
Woman, Dudley Do-Right. And then there's The Ultimate Superhero:
God?also single.

4. Plus, when you think about it, there's no such thing as a Stepford
Single Woman.

5. Why limit myself to being dissatisfied by one relationship when I
can be dissatisfied by an infinite variety?

6. It's interesting how our culture has the __expression "happily
married," but no __expression "happily single." And those words are
100% certified by the US Census Bureau. Statistics show that although
married men are reported to be happier than single men (surprise,
surprise!)?single women are reported to be happier than married women
(also a big surprise, surprise!).
Meaning? This only furthers the irony that single women are branded as
"unhappy" and "lonely" and "loser-esque"? when single women are just
boldly holding out for the right situation, rather than getting
married just to get married.

7. It's easy to become married. Millions of people do it every year.
If you want to pressure me to become something, hey, why not pick
something a little more challenging? like an astrophysicist.

8. True love is rare. That's why it's called "love" and not "really
like" or "settling." And why we don't say: "I'm settling for you,
honey" over candlelit dinners. True love is worth waiting for? and
that's what I'm doing.

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From: hazelmarie@gmail.com